Cooking For Engineers

[Michael Chu]

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

[eltonyo]

i was thinking about how i would design an algorithm to determine if a joke was funny.

it would take a very complicated, and multi-dimensional interpolation table look-up scheme.

scratch that! ... (it would be non-linear and ever changing)

it would have to take into account such things as:

* irony
* oxymorons
* slap-stik (shtik)
* politics
* religion
* witticism
* cynacism
* mental retardation
* mental superiority
* sex
* any stimulation of the 5 senses
* anti-social anger
* dichotomy
* history
* social hiarchy
* mental stress and fortitude
* psychology
* mathmatical trickery
..
....
........
* and at least eleventeen-billion (plus three) more things...

so i gave up.

but i must confess, the previous joke, is by any definition of the word, ...."funny"...... whatever that means!

so laugh people!!!!!

[sari84]

The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist

what's ventriloquist?????

[Jörg]

ventriloquism - The art of projecting one's voice so that it seems to come from another source, as from a wooden figure.


Français (French)
ventriloque

Deutsch (German)
n. - Bauchredner

Italiano (Italian)
ventriloquo

Português (Portuguese)
n. - ventríloquo (m)

Español (Spanish)
n. - ventrílocuo

Svenska (Swedish)
n. - buktalare

中国话 (Simplified Chinese)
n. - 口技者, 作腹语者

中國話 (Traditional Chinese)
n. - 口技者, 作腹語者

日本語 (Japanese)
n. - 腹話術師

עברית (Hebrew)‬
n. - ‮מדבר מהבטן, פיתום

[nanin]

I live in Austria and I had heard this joke before (in German of course), so I guess the world really is getting smaller.

[counter]

Really funny!!