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How to speak like an engineer.

 
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Luv2Eat
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 2:15 am    Post subject: How to speak like an engineer. Reply with quote

Hi. I am married to a chemical engineer and need your help explaining something to him. Last night he broiled chicken. Each time he turned the chicken he used a new fork (five in total). How can I explain to him why a new fork is not needed each time? He is worried about the germs from raw chicken. I need the proper technical/scientific explanation or he won't believe me. Thanks!
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GaryProtein



Joined: 26 Oct 2005
Posts: 535

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess if he wants to be ULTRA (well beyond necessary) careful, he is doing the right thing. I would never do that. He could temper what he is doing and still be almost as ultra careful if he uses tongs and does not pierce the meat when he turns it and not use fresh tongs for each turn. I think the rest of the civilized world uses whatever they use, and as long as the chicken reaches its prescribed cooking temperature it will be ok. We are all still alive and there aren't many cases of salmonella or other fowl related diseases being reported due to well COOKED chicken with clear running juices. Practically all food contamination comes from unclean hands, not unclean utensils. It would not be a good idea to use the same fork on uncooked chicken as the one you use when serving cooked chicken.

His concern is well taken, but I think he should mellow out.
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eltonyo



Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Posts: 88
Location: WA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Hi. I am married to a chemical engineer and need your help explaining something to him. Last night he broiled chicken. Each time he turned the chicken he used a new fork (five in total). How can I explain to him why a new fork is not needed each time? He is worried about the germs from raw chicken. I need the proper technical/scientific explanation or he won't believe me. Thanks!


*cough*.... Well... I have a minor in chemical engineering and a degree in mechanical engineering, and i work in an aero-engineering company.... but my degree in "attitude" on this sort of thing is huge. Smile

BOTTOM LINE: Your husband is being a big fat pussy! (sorry).

LOL!!!

"Germs are a good thing" (in the words of Martha Stewart, though she would never say such a thing). Penecillin (or any anti-biotic) is a double edged sword, that mostly does good (but only when properly used). But there is a very good reason why Mexicans can drink the local water and not get sick, and yet some "gringos" barf out their spleen when they "drink their water"!

Their are millions of germs, pathogens, bacteria, and "bugs" that literally live within your body, and perform "nasty" functions that keep you alive every day.... killing them is often the cause of many irreversible diseases.

Back in the day (the good ol'days), people use to keep their butter (even their mayonnaise) out at room temperature, and nobody died of e-coli or "chicken-hands".

There is a reason our "sterile" environment has created a havoc of infectious causes, or staff infections in hospitals, that modern day antiobiotics cannot cure. There is a reason that hospital related deaths exceed those caused by car accidents, AIDS and breast cancer.

It's not the "germs" fault (necessarily)!

Grow some immunity fortitude for once!

It's okay to "tongue-kiss" (for example).... and its okay to "touch" a chicken or penis or fish or vagina and not die of germ infection.... it's okay to have "dirty" hands from time to time.... to have sweaty dirty hands... adinfinitum adnauseum.... and/or to play in the mud.... it's okay to pick your nose, scratch your arse, and pet your dog/cat, and/or to wipe the sweat off your brow, and stick your finger in the raw cookie dough!!!!... and not worry about germs, bacteria, and death.

It's okay!!!! IT'S BLOODY OKAY PEOPLE!!!!!

Criminy people.... "it's okay" to be normal"!!!!

Get a grip! If you honestly feel the need to worry about "petty" things (like chicken hands, OR IN THIS CASE... CHICKEN FORKS!!!!!), you need to start worrying about more important things like our national debt and global warming... cuz both will have "chicken hands and forks" beat by many trillion miles and pre-mature deaths.

If you really need to "sterilize" stuff just to feel safe and healthy... STOP BREATHING! (cuz your already sterile, and close to death!)

Get a reality check!

(just my personal opinion, backed up by many facts!)

p.s. want some fries with that? Smile

p.s.2. how 'bout some moldy cheese? Wink

p.s.3 how about some cheesy fries with "hand held" chicken meat that was poked with a non-sterile fork? should we call 911 for the person that actually "hand-held" the chicken meat without proper playtex goves?

sigh..... i weep for our "sterile" future if we are now going to ask our cooks to fuss over "chicken eff'in forks!!!!!"!
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Yama



Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha
I don't think you can explain to him if he's that much of a worry wort, but Try this...

If you use the same fork (assuming that bacteria is on the fork), the temperature of the chicken itself should be enough to kill any bacteria that you're transferring to the chicken from the fork. Right? If your chicken is hot enough to kill bacteria, that's what matters.

Or, he could just take a small bowl of water with a teaspoon of unscented bleach in which to keep his fork between rotations.

<-----Chemical Engineer (not that that should matter)
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zspook1



Joined: 18 May 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ibid wash the fork
or let him do the dishes, it is the only time i get any peace...
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Taamar



Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 6:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I EVER reused a utensil with raw chicken juice like you suggest I'd be fired (if I was lucky. If not, and the health dept caught me, I'd get fined too). If you don't mind a little salmonella and campylobactor, by all means reuse the fork! You reintroducing bacteria that may not have time to reach a safe temp before being served. Of course, the rules for commercial kitchens are strict because we assume that our product may be eaten by someone with a compromised immune system... for home use in a household of healthy adults you ought to be OK using the same fork until it's time to serve, then using a fresh one.
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cynicalb



Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 33

PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, my, God...How has Homo Sapiens lasted for a few million years???

Eltonyo - thanks for the reality check...
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Reid
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 9:40 pm    Post subject: cook it on the grill Reply with quote

Then you can leave the tongs inside the grill with the handle sticking out so they get heated with the chicken. That's what this EE does.
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snow
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 10:52 pm    Post subject: Re: cook it on the grill Reply with quote

Reid wrote:
Then you can leave the tongs inside the grill with the handle sticking out so they get heated with the chicken. That's what this EE does.


Hmm, well, this Civ E thinks the whole fork will heat up and you'll burn your hand. And forks have tines, not tongs. Wink
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EngineeringProfessor



Joined: 07 Sep 2006
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:20 am    Post subject: Re: How to speak like an engineer. Reply with quote

Luv2Eat wrote:
Hi. I am married to a chemical engineer and need your help explaining something to him. Last night he broiled chicken. Each time he turned the chicken he used a new fork (five in total). How can I explain to him why a new fork is not needed each time? He is worried about the germs from raw chicken. I need the proper technical/scientific explanation or he won't believe me. Thanks!


I'm an EE (Electrical Engineer) and I have a bit of the same OCD when it comes to raw chicken and utensils. Here's what I do (just one fork):

1) I watch where I lay the fork down, keep what touches the chicken from touching anything else.

2) As the chicken cooks, what is on the fork cooks too.

3) Early on I rinse the fork a couple of times in hot water from the faucet.

Better safe than sorry and engineers like a process that keeps us busy.
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ditto



Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 9
Location: Phoenix, Az

PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not just let him have this one. What's 3 extra forks in the dishwasher if it makes him happy.

Or

Use 16" Tongs.
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blueshrimp
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could try explaining it in terms of thermodynamics and efficiency.

Explain to him that using 5 forks will require you to wash 5 forks instead of 1.

If you expend, say, x Joules of energy washing one fork, it follows you will expend 5x Joules of energy washing 5 forks. Since you only cook one chicken, if you use only one fork your efficiency (in fork usage units) is equal to 1 chicken divided by one fork = 100%. If you use five forks, the efficiency is reduced to one fifth, or 20%

Any engineer should balk at the inefficiency of this process. Engineers like elegant solutions. A 20% efficient solution (using five forks) is very ugly relative to an optimally efficient solution (using one fork) and will grate on most engineer's sense of aesthetics.

If this still doesn't work, you can then point out the inefficiency not only in energy wasted (you now have to wash 5 forks instead of 1) but also in electricity: you need to run the water 5 times as long to wash 5 forks, that is 5 times as long that the pump is pumping water up your faucet (if you use an electric pump). You could then give him the task of calculating how much the actual volume of water used increases if the faucet is running, say, at a rate of 100 ml a second, how much more water would you waste by washing 5 forks instead of one?

If you are sadistic, you could then ask him to calculate on humanitarian terms, how many afghan villages that wasted water would source, etc etc, ad infinitum.

If you are clever enough with your "problems"/"assignments/tasks to solve" you give him, you will keep him busy and entertained enough to leave you alone in the kitchen as he runs off to the living room searching for pen and paper to perform the calculations.

You're welcome. Teasing
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Thor



Joined: 24 Jul 2006
Posts: 112
Location: Camp Hill, PA

PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:22 pm    Post subject: What About Breasts Reply with quote

Quote:
Since you only cook one chicken, if you use only one fork your efficiency (in fork usage units) is equal to 1 chicken divided by one fork = 100%. If you use five forks, the efficiency is reduced to one fifth, or 20%


But what if you cook 5 breasts?? Couldn't you still argue that using one fork per breast = 100% efficiency?
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